Reboot

Let me start with this - I'm being treated for clinical depression. 

That doesn't mean I need a hug, or to sit around eating ice cream and talking about my feelings (although truth be known, I will rarely turn down an offer of ice cream.)

What it means is that my brain has been producing too much of one kind of neurotransmitter, and not enough of another, and I need medicine to help balance things out. 

Depression can affect energy levels, concentration, motivation, and motor control. I've been aware of the decline in all of those things, especially the motor control, and it has been a source of intense frustration. I didn't know what was happening, or why. Now I do.

There is a simple, scientific - and more importantly, treatable - reason for almost all of the struggles I've been having with my art for the past year or so. It's been a little over two weeks since I started treatment, and things are starting to improve bit by bit, although it will probably be a few more weeks before I'm quite myself again.

So I'm rebooting. Starting over. Starting fresh. As part of that, I've renewed my membership at the Toronto Zoo. When I was first starting to draw seriously, I went to the zoo pretty much every week to draw the animals. It seemed like a good place to start over. 

 These sketches and more on my Tumblr

Getting back in the saddle

If you've been following this blog at all, you probably know by now that I'm really not a fan of my own work.

It got so bad that I pretty much quit drawing in January this year because I couldn't stand to look at anything I was making.  I haven't put down a single line in the past year that I haven't wanted to destroy on a molecular level, and I would still rather stab my eyes out than look at anything I'm drawing.

(By the way, if you have any well-intentioned but misguided comments right about now, feel free to keep them to yourself. It won't help me, and it'll just make me mistrust and possibly resent you. Also, Ira Glass can stick that entire lecture up his ass and STFU forever, because that means that this feeling of total inadequacy will never, ever get better and there is no such thing as a light at the end of the tunnel. So, really, really never ever quote him at me. Ever. Not even as a joke.)


Anyway, a little while ago I realized that the only thing worse than having to look at my art is not making any. And maybe, just maybe, if I work hard enough at it, eventually I'll start to get better.

So, here we go again, trying to climb back on the drawing horse and ride. Or draw. Or whatever.

Because like the blog says, I can't just quit.

I can't stop drawing. Not really.

Drawing all the things

So, apart from doing some local conventions and shows (which I probably won't be doing any more, because it makes me cranky) I've been busy drawing lots of things.

UysFaber held an artist contest for their SunDragon title, and I did a couple of designs for that, which you can check out at their site.

I've been going to lots of life drawings, mostly Toons on Tap and The Drawing Room, and have kept up my daily sketch challenge sketches every weekday and anatomy studies on the weekends. I've been doing that so much that most of it isn't even scanned  because I haven't had the time.

Steampunk Vixens is chugging steadily along, with new updates every Friday. (Vixens Vendredi!)

I've done a few small commissions, and still have a couple left on my "to do" list before I'm ready to take on any more.

I've finished a couple of line art that I don't completely hate, so that's progress.

 

And apart from that, I'm working on a 12-page story for Steampunk Originals, not sure what would come of that but if nothing else I'll have a nice set of sequentials and some fun new designs in my portfolio.

So, all in all, keeping busy and trying to stay productive.

Speaking of which, I have a few commissions to finish, and some comic pages to lay out.

Another appearance!

My next post will be about stuff I'm working on, honest. I've been keeping busy. But for today, it's just a quick post to say I have a dealer table at the November comicon happening today at the Royal York hotel in Toronto. I'll be selling prints and sketches.

another upcoming appearance and spooky fun

The Comic Book Lounge and Gallery is a venue for Halloween ComicsFest 2012 

I will be on hand to draw free sketches for any little monsters that come by.

There's also a book launch happening for Anything Ghost anthology, in addition to the general Halloween costume & candy festivities.

If you happen to be in Little Italy on Wednesday night, and haven't been swept away by this week's uberstorm, come on by and say hello. It should be quite a fun evening.

https://www.facebook.com/events/322514664512503/

Up all night

I'm not sure what I've gotten myself into, but I'm booked to draw at a couple of events during the Scotiabank Nuit Blanche on September 29.

Well, three events if you count the studio open house at the Comic Book Embassy, although I'm not booked to draw there. But hey, if you show up before 8pm and ask nicely, I'll probably do a sketch anyway.

Between 9pm and 11pm I'll be at Strip Art at Guerilla Printing, 587A College Street (College & Clinton) where artists will be drawing based on story ideas from the people attending the event.

Between 1am and 4am I'll be at Persona Grata drawing portraits at the Toronto School of Art, 410 Adelaide St. West, 3rd Floor (just west of Spadina)

So if you're out participating in Nuit Blanche and in the neighbourhood, come on over and see some art happen live and in person.

It'll be fun.

Drawn in 60 seconds

FanExpo special

Holy cats, kids, I'm in artists alley at FanExpo. If you're going, come by my table and say hi and watch me draw stuff. It'll be fun. I'm at A165, right by the original art of star wars.